Thanks to my burning desire to be a homesteader, despite my lack of green thumb for anything but medicinal herbs, I follow a fair amount of homesteading ladies on Instagram.

My feed now mostly consists of homestead videos, the ties between neuroscience and what Jesus taught, fun facts about Catholic saints, simple living inspo and the occasional AI cat video slop.

I love it.

What I don’t love, though, is how much of the content centered around homemaking (cooking, cleaning) had me feeling like I was somehow doing it all wrong and that maybe there was something wrong with me because I don’t have an organized home management system that I follow religiously.

Was I *gasp* just a lazy homemaker?

(Lazy, like rest, is one of the only four letter words I find offensive. I’m an Enneagram 3, what can I say?)

It took me a while to figure out something was off with it - mostly after I tried to put a lot of this stuff into practice and got really frustrated.

Here’s what I eventually realized, after one particular attempt to systematize something that ended in a lot of swearing:

I manage my house like it’s a monastery and have for a really long time.

The problem I kept running into with my attempts to be like the Insta moms (my first mistake, TBH) is that I don’t do everything for my family.

We also value creative projects at home more than outside extracurricular activities so we are home most nights of the week, thus eliminating the need for high levels of planning and efficiency for busy nights.

(Although this priority has forced me to get okay with ongoing creative projects at the various craft stations around the house instead of keeping everything perfectly clean and clear all the time.)

Since my kids are no longer small, they don’t need nearly as much hands-on help from me. However, even when they did, my focus was not on being as organized as possible to do it all.

It was on equipping them with the skills they needed to confidently do it themselves.

I focused on teaching them how to cook and bake, how to clean up after themselves, how to do their own laundry, how to fix things, how to get creative with what they had instead of running to the store, how to look up things they needed to know.

Because, to me, they are valuable members of this community and I expect them to take ownership and contribute.

They are my adolescent, foul-mouthed monks (that’s my fault, mostly).

I learned early on that one of the biggest obstacles that stood in the way of them being able to do that, was too much stuff.

They struggled to keep their rooms clean because they were overwhelmed with all the toys and clothes.

When we did a major decluttering and got rid of most of our possessions (my husband was on board … mostly), it was suddenly easier for my kids to clean up after themselves.

Same for me.

I went from being an overwhelmed stay-at-home mom who could never get on top of the mess, to having so much ease with keeping things clean because only the things that mattered stayed and everything had its place, so putting it away was easy.

The ease of less

Because I’ve been inadvertently living like a monk for nearly two decades, with the goal of owning only the essentials for what I value most (I traded in minimalism for essentialism somewhere along the way), I don’t have a lot of stuff to take care of.

I don’t have a mountain of laundry that overwhelms me because I don’t have a lot of clothing. Capsule wardrobe FTW.

So I don’t really need a system if I’m only washing clothes when our (small) basket gets full.

Because there’s so little, putting it away immediately is easy - it was a habit I intentionally developed.

And since my kids do their own laundry, I just wash mine and my husband’s stuff (or he does - whoever gets to it first).

I don’t need to plan meals super far in advance because I have a capsule kitchen/pantry and prefer to decide what simple meal we’ll eat a day or two in advance or sometimes the day of.

I discovered many years ago that I would often get annoyed at myself because the meal I had planned just didn’t sound good the night of. I’m particular. *shrug*

Instead, I follow a very loose weekly meal schedule and love potato night because my youngest son always has an idea and we roll with it and he makes dinner with me.

This connection and collaboration is far more important to me than a streamlined menu prepared weeks in advance.

My weekly meal schedule, in case you’re curious:

• Monday: Soup

• Tuesday: Potato

• Wednesday: Mexican

• Thursday: Italian

• Friday: Pizza

• Saturday: Casserole

• Sunday: Leftovers or a roast

I don’t need a cleaning system because there’s not a lot of stuff to clean, except bathrooms, really, and I’m only cleaning one of them. Really, I rarely do that, because my husband usually does it. (Thank God.)

We sweep as needed, which is often because it’s so dusty where we live. And dogs. The kitchen gets cleaned every night before bed. The living room is tidied then, too.

And if I do feel the need to deep clean something, like at the end of last year when I was hit with this urge to clean out every space that I had ignored over the years, I was able to pick one or two things to address in a day because I have the free time to do that.

I’m not saying this as a flex, because, really, all I did was get rid of a lot of stuff and disciplined myself to spend my time more intentionally.

Anyone can do that.

It’s more of a reminder to myself that I’ve been doing things differently for a long time and the initial effort of getting rid of stuff and learning to make do and build new habits and teaching my kids even when it was a really big pain has paid off.

(Also, that comparing myself to others, especially on social media, pretty much guarantees frustration.)

Now, my day is more about rhythms built on discipline than highly-organized systems.

Because, as God has reminded me in prayer, He didn’t call me home to be a glorified housekeeper and personal chef. He called me home so that I could focus on the things that matter most:

• Stillness

• Connection

• Movement

• Growth

• Purpose

So these days, I feel less like an overwhelmed housewife and more like a lady of leisure.

Except, you know, more monk-like.

Does that make me lazy? Hmmm.

Do you ever notice God speaking to you in themes? Like, “In this month’s life lesson, the theme will be patience.”

Or obedience or trust or whatever.

Do the inner work, pray, trust, and follow God’s guidance, and you’ll learn the lesson and move on to … probably a more challenging lesson.

(My husband used to tell people when he was coaching CrossFit that it doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger. Wise words.)

If you don’t heed the lesson and its opportunity for growth, however, and try to ignore it or do things your own way (my specialty), it will keep circling back until you finally get it.

Or you die. *insert shrug emoji*

Two lessons I’ve been learning lately are about identity and trusting God. Naturally, they’re connected.

God was so kind as to make these connections for me this morning while I was praying and I could see how much my old identity - that my value is tied to my productivity, that I won’t be loved unless I contort myself to match an ideal, that I am not truly necessary so I should just fade into the background and make everyone else’s lives easier - led to me not trusting God and just trying to take the reins and do what I think needs to be done.

(Damn, that was really vulnerable …)

I thought, “This really reminds me of when Sarai took matters into her own hands and told Abram to have a kid with her slave because there’s no way God actually meant that a whole nation would come from her old, barren womb. Then she was really upset about it (duh) and made everyone miserable. So she basically made herself a shit sandwich because she didn’t just trust God and then was surprised when it didn’t taste good. Damn, I can really relate there. Hmmm.”

And I opened up my Bible to follow my Bible in a Year plan and guess what the first passage was about. That exact story.

Thanks for the confirmation, Lord. *Trying really hard not to do the eye roll emoji.*

What does identity have to do with trust?

I recently went through Tonya Leigh’s Live Like an Editor Workshop because for some reason she’s been appointed as some mystical guide in my life and always seems to circle back into my orbit to help with a lesson I need to learn.

The point of the workshop was to help you get really clear on the focus of your year by choosing one word that defines it and figuring out what you can do/stop doing to step into the version of yourself that embodies it.

“Oh,” I realized. “This is really about identity.” Also, the word that kept floating into my mind was monastic.

So, for example, if your focus of the year is fitness but in your old identity you believe that exercising is too hard or you hate it or that you always quit and that eating healthy means eating flavorless food and giving up everything that you love, you’re not going to get very far.

However, if you put on a new identity, the identity of someone who is fit and loves it, you will.

This, of course, requires some research and critical thinking.

What does a fit person who loves being fit believe about fitness? Probably that exercise is fun. And that it gives them so much energy that they can’t wait to do it. That they are worth the commitment. They probably also have found ways to eat healthy that they love. And found recipes that are delicious. They’ve also found ways to still enjoy foods they love without overdoing it.

To them, fitness isn’t loss, it is so much gain.

What’s more, they see themselves as fit. They don’t see themselves as lazy or fat or a slob or a hopeless failure (probably), and they act in a way that is in line with how they see themselves. They believe in this identity.

So, if in your old identity you don’t believe that you are so valuable to God that he would make impossible promises to you and keep them, you’re gonna worry about it and be anxious and finally hatch some stupid plan to make things happen in your own way because you don’t trust God to come through.

I’m talking about myself and Sarai here.

(I’m also gonna point some fingers at Abram for causing some of this mistaken identity, after the whole, “tell them she’s my sister, not my wife because she’s so beautiful and I don’t want to get killed so I’ll let some other guy take her as his wife ordeal”, where God came in and saved the day for her. Perhaps this promise to Sarai was also a way of God healing some wounds and letting her know that she really is so valuable and precious to him that yes, he would actually give her this impossible gift?)

Anyway. If you do not see yourself as you truly are - a beloved child of God - it is so easy to misplace your trust. To think that you need to figure everything out on your own. To strive. To worry. To push.

But when you finally accept it, this new identify in Christ, things can change. You can step into that identity, put it on like a new outfit, and begin to live as one who knows that they are truly one with God. Then, trust becomes easier. It’s like taking a deep breath, letting your shoulders drop and relaxing into peace.

This is why Jesus talked so much about repenting, which in Greek is metanoia, or changing your mind. Changing the way you see yourself. It’s why there are references all over the new testament about putting on the identity of Christ. (Like choosing your focus word.) Clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, and love. (Like deciding what you need to do/stop doing to step into the version of yourself that acts that way.)

This is how you shift your identity from one of perpetual sinner to saint and begin bearing fruit in your life that actually tastes good.

Final thoughts:

Okay, so I initially started writing this to tell you about the monastic focus, but it took a turn.

Ahem.

In doing this work, and shedding old layers of that old identity, I could see how I’ve been circling around this idea with things I’ve been writing and talking about lately, as well as what’s been going on in my daily life.

And I’ve been trying on names and niche’s and nothing has quite felt right because it’s been done partially through the lens of my old identity - as a way to contort to what I thought other people wanted and what made a good Christian woman (definitely not swearing and a half-shaved head), fear of talking about God and living this way (especially on the Internet), and, mostly, fear of being seen as I am, in my true identity.

Well, fuck that noise.

Settling on the word monastic was like finding an old, forgotten sweater in the back of your closet and putting it on and remembering how much you loved it.

I wanted to be a nun when I was in high school, then Shane Claiborne’s new monasticism was the main inspiration behind becoming a minimalist and living in a school bus.

It’s always been there in the background and now it’s coming to the forefront and being weaved into how I live my life as a wife and mom of four young adults.

Now it’s time for mid-morning prayer.

Thanks for reading.

When my second child was a baby, I think six or seven months old ;), I had set her in her crib momentarily so I could do something.

Who knows what - probably just a trip to the bathroom by myself. I think I was still in shock that you could just set a baby down and it wouldn’t try to immediately climb out and go set something on fire or climb on the counter to play with knives. (My oldest is a Sagittarius male, IYKYK. So is my youngest. Pray for me).

Anyway.

She started screaming so I ran over to her only to find that she was poking herself in the eye and wouldn’t stop. (I don’t know that I can blame this on her being a Gemini, but it definitely was indicative of future stubbornness in fixing simple, self-inflicted problems. BTW, her sister is also a Gemini. IYKYK. Pray for me.)

I think about that often because that’s where a lot of my problems come from - sticking my finger in my eye and refusing to take it out and then crying about it.

Or in my case, trying to live out of alignment with who I am and how I was made and then throwing a tantrum about it and being insufferable and blaming my frustration on everyone else when I feel like a prisoner in my own life.

I know I’m not the only one.

There’s a reason I’m so into the Zodiac and Enneagram and what not. I love to know people and understand them better so we can connect on a deeper level.

It’s also crucial to know myself so that I can love myself deeper and get a better understanding of how I was made so I can live in alignment with that.

Recently, Human Design has been a big part of better understanding myself. Or rather, understanding myself in a way that I can put into action in everyday life. I first learned about it a few years ago, but recently, it’s been more and more helpful.

What is Human Design? Here’s the AI overview:

Human Design is a holistic system blending ancient wisdom (Astrology, I Ching, Chakras) with modern science (Genetics, Physics, Quantum Mechanics) to create a unique “energetic blueprint” (BodyGraph) for each individual, revealing your true potential, decision-making strategy, and purpose, helping you live authentically by trusting your inner authority over mental conditioning. It categorizes people into 5 Energy Types (Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, Reflector) to guide how you use your energy, offering strategies to reduce resistance and find flow in life.

Every morning, I sit down with my journal and pray, “God, would you speak to me,” and the response is, “Write this down.” Sometimes He’s cheeky and pops that George Strait song in my head. (Incidentally, I kind of hate that song as it’s intended but if you think about God talking to us, it just hits different.)

Anyway.

In diving deeper into my Human Design (HD) blueprint, I’ve noticed how a lot of the things specific to my type are things God has told me when I journal.

Kind of creepily so.

But I’m super dense sometimes and he has to tell me things over and over again in lots of different ways until I finally get it.

What I’ve learned from HD is that when I’m in alignment, I feel satisfied at the end of the day. My energy is fully spent and I go to bed content, eager to get up in the morning with lots of energy.

When I’m out of alignment, I feel frustrated. My natural energy is replaced with exhaustion, yet I feel super angsty like I need to move. The frustration makes me want to burn everything down.

It’s taught me that when I feel frustrated, I need to get honest about what’s out of alignment in myself. (Big duh, I know.)

It’s been especially helpful in business because I’ve learned that my type cannot do … basically everything I’ve been doing. Or at least the way I’ve been doing it.

I’m multipassionate and need variety in my work because I have so many different skills and interests. I’m meant to respond to things based on my gut intuition, not sit around and think of ideas to pursue. I’m meant to try things on and see how they feel and walk away when they don’t fit anymore. I do my best work in short projects where I can strategize and do creative problem solving. I’m made to get in, solve a problem, and get out. I was made to soak up information like a sponge and teach and coach in a meaningful way.

Doing the same thing on repeat kills me, especially if it doesn’t feel meaningful.

So my charcuterie catering business? Killing me slowly, one salami rose at a time.

Trying to pick just one thing to focus on and presenting it in one perfect little package? Recipe for disaster, even though I ALWAYS try to do that. Should it be a clue that I HATE following recipes?

Coming up with an idea out of the blue, especially one that involves a long-term commitment? Just stick a fork in my eye because that would be more enjoyable.

HD being everywhere for me right now has been a literal God-send because it’s opened my eyes to the seemingly little things I’ve been doing that have gotten me to my current state of frustration.

In case you couldn’t tell by now - I’ve been feeling very frustrated lately.

(Honestly, the text I sent to my bestie recently telling her that I feel like my soul is dying and I want to burn it all to the ground should have been a major red flag. I’ve sent her that message a LOT over the years when I need to re-align. Again, I’m super dense sometimes.)

HD has also given me the suggestions I need, that have been re-iterated in my journaling, to get back to a place of alignment.

Happy sigh. Frustrated Nina is an insufferable bitch.

I’m not saying this to evangelize Human Design, though I am fully for seeking out ways to understand yourself better so you can live fully in alignment with how God made you because it’s important for your purpose in life.

I’m mostly in awe that whenever I’m frustrated and feel out of alignment, God will gently put the things in front of me that I need to realize that I am indeed out of alignment and if I course correct within myself, my external world will be so much better.

And then he’ll straight up tell me when I journal that yes, that’s what he was doing because when he tells me point blank, I don’t listen all that well.

He wants us to know ourselves well so that we can fully step into who we are made to be - fully alive. It’s not meant to be an unsolvable mystery. It’s supposed to be a fulfilling journey.

Alignment is the way forward.

My aligned way forward is closing down my food service business to pursue writing, teaching and coaching.

I’ll be talking more about God- and self-awareness here. Sacred Home Nourishment is where I’ll share more practical, how-to stuff, with the occasional essay, on thriving at home, marriage, intentional parenting, and the art of peasant maxing. Mystic Weight Loss is where I’ll be coaching on how to nourish your body and shed the excess weight by approaching food with awareness and delight. Lastly, I’m still open for marketing coaching and projects that feel in alignment. Expect a mix of online classes, workshops, digital products, and coaching programs from each.

As I said to my bestie the other day, thanks for coming to my brain dump.

I was today-years-old when I heard the term, “capsule kitchen.” Which, as it turns out, is what I’ve had for the last, oh, 16 years or so.

What is a capsule kitchen?

Here’s the AI overview:

A capsule kitchen is a minimalist, efficient approach to cooking, inspired by capsule wardrobes, focusing on a core set of versatile staple ingredients, multi-use tools, and fundamental flavor bases to create diverse meals without excess clutter or food waste, relying on a consistent pantry of essentials plus rotating seasonal fresh items. It simplifies grocery shopping and meal prep by having foundational items like grains, legumes, oils, spices, and a few key pots/pans always on hand, allowing for quick, varied cooking.

Incidentally, I’ve also been rocking the capsule wardrobe for just as long. Highly recommend.

I became a minimalist years ago because one day I realized that I had a low clutter tolerance (hello, constant anxiety) and a LOT of clutter. This was back in the initial get out of debt days, so I spent a lot of time researching. One of my research binges introduced me to the concept of minimalism as I was looking for ways to save money.

That led to me decluttering our entire house (I will re-post the how-to articles from my old blog here soon in case you’re interested) and, eventually, living in a school bus for 14 months with our four small children.

Yep. Four. In a teeny tiny space. It was awesome. Highly recommend.

Anyway, many of those habits have stuck around, and some did not (though I’m actually going back to them now).

Although, now, I’d consider myself more of an essentialist than a minimalist. That means I only want the things that are essential to living well and joyfully.

In retrospect, I kind of was an essentialist even when we lived in the bus - I had a whole drawer dedicated to coffee and tea and a few different ways to make coffee. Because coffee.

A true minimalist would have gone down to the bare minimum.

Hmmm. Priorities, I guess.

Anyway.

The capsule kitchen has been consistent because it just has so many benefits that make life better.

Here are three:

1. Easy grocery savings

Every month, I restock my kitchen with food items we use all the time (and stock up on staples when they’re on sale to save even more money). These staples are frequently mixed and matched into a bunch of different meal options.

Not only are the majority of our staples inexpensive, but I now know where to buy them for the least amount of money and how to recognize a good deal worth stocking up on.

Pro tip: you will always pay more for convenience, like only getting groceries at one store. I shop at a few different stores to get the most savings. I will be doing a class soon on ways to save money on groceries, so be sure to subscribe to get alerted if you need that.

2. Less clutter, more peace

This may come as a shock, but the less stuff you own, the less clutter you will encounter. I know, crazy. For years, I struggled with keeping up with the clutter, especially with a bunch of littles, and then one day I realized that I didn’t need half the crap I owned and got rid of it.

I took stock of everything I owned and asked if I really needed it. The answer to a lot of it was no.

The result was clear counters and so much more peace. It wasn’t until the clutter was gone that I realized that it made me so anxious because it was on every surface and crammed in drawers and cabinets.

It created the white space I craved but didn’t know I needed.

(My one regret came years later when I got rid of my food processor because I just didn’t use it enough to warrant the space it took up. I finally replaced it this Black Friday with a refurbished Kitchen Aid one for $50. We’ll see if all my lamenting over not having one was warranted.)

3. Meal time flexibility

I’m going to let you in on a little secret … I hate meal planning. There, I said it. I know, I’m a terrible nutrition coach. But I’ve found that half the time what I planned on Sunday doesn’t sound great on Thursday.

Or, now that my kids are older, they end up binging food home and it throws off the whole plan anyway.

Thankfully, having a capsule kitchen means I don’t have to plan in advance unless I really want to (which I would do to create a grocery list so I could go shopping) because I always have plenty of food on hand to make something. Sometimes I’ll plan a couple of days in advance, others it’s the morning of.

Or right at meal time like today, where I’m writing while things thaw because I just decided what to make (I started writing this shortly before 5 pm). But the point is, I just had to look in the cabinets and fridge/freezer and pick a protein, a carb and a veg. Easy.

I also love that if plans come up, or we have too many leftovers, or my kids do bring something home, it’s easy for me to pivot on what to make because I’m not set on a special recipe that I had to buy special ingredients for.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t make those, but it’s usually for more special occasions and it’s been communicated with the family in advance so they don’t change the plans.

Well, it’s 5:20 and we need to leave for trivia in 25 minutes, so I best be cooking.

Do you have a capsule kitchen? Do you want one? Please say yes. ;)

Every year for the past, I don’t know, 10? 12? years, I’ve chosen a word for the coming year. A guiding word that would direct my goals, which I would weigh decisions against.

This year’s word was whimsy. Or maybe that was last year.

Clearly, it was important since I have no idea what it actually was or where I wrote it down. (If you choose a word of the year, probably best to make it prominent.)

In retrospect, when I chose that word, it was likely on a whim, and I said something like, “Ooooh, yes! I love that. That’s what I want.”

I didn’t consider it prayerfully. I didn’t hear it whispered during meditation. It was based on my will and my will alone.

Which is really not how I’ve been trying to live my life for the last 18ish months.

No worries, though, God had a word in mind and it won out (ha!).

Refinement.

It was the word I didn’t know I needed and in many ways, was very welcome. I feel closer to God than I ever have and I’ve created new habits to deepen that relationship daily.

But. It’s also been painful.

I’m glad that God only gives you what you can bear at any given time, and so He’s gently held the mirror up to my face and let me deal with my own bullshit gradually.

There was … a lot of bullshit. And old patterns to release. And old wounds to finally heal.

It’s to be expected, I know, considering the years my husband and I were married before we divorced and reunited were not exactly peachy, but I was really hoping for a ride off into the sunset of newly wedded bliss.

Reality has been much more … real. And raw. Good, and ultimately, incredibly healing. Miraculous, even. But wow, what a year.

Only a portion of it has been related to my marriage.

Trust has been a recurring lesson, one that has been HARD for me to learn. Turns out, I like to take the reigns a LOT.

God has even said in my journaling, “This is supposed to be a dance, Little Bird, a beautiful dance. But you keep trying to take over and lead us right into a wall.”

Ahem. Sorry.

And so, it’s the end of the year and I’m gonna do that thing I keep getting told to do - trust.

I’ve been told over and over (and over) again that I need to focus on my home (faith, marriage, children, food, making a peaceful home).

And to write and teach. But, from home. With no pressure to make money. If it happens, it happens.

My natural inclination is to worry and stress about the money. To say, but what if I do this (insert any of the many skills I’ve acquired over the years), too? What if I just start this business? Or this one? Or this one?

And the answer I keep getting is, “Trust. I’ve got you, Little Bird.”

So I’m closing my food service business (when I finally decided that such a huge weight was lifted) and focusing on my home and writing. (Damn, I’ve missed writing.)

Specifically, writing about weaving monastic spirituality into everyday life - with teenagers - on my original Substack, Monastic Mom.

Pray for me, please.

And maybe follow me there if you also want more order and rhythm and purpose in your everyday life.

Nina Nelson - Monastic Mom

Benedictine oblate in formation. Monastic spirituality for real life (with teenagers). Prayer | Rhythm | Domestic holiness. Build your personal Rule of Life.

I was sitting, well, kneeling, in Mass this morning, post-communion, when a little thought wiggled its way into my head: “You know, green bean casserole is just the base of Shepherd’s Pie with some crispy onions added to it.”

Oh. Ohhhhh. Yes, yes it is. At least, the way I made it this year.

Naturally, that’s all I could think of for the rest of church and by the end of the final hymn, I had built all the layers in my mind, completely made up of the Thanksgiving leftovers sitting in my fridge.

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I was determined to make it for dinner and when I told my husband about it and my plans to thaw some ground beef as soon as we got home, he suggested I make it a true Thanksgiving pie and dice the leftover turkey in the fridge.

Genius. Of course. Even less work.

But wait, isn’t it a bit early to have Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge?

Technically, yes.

However, one of my brothers and his family left this morning for a week at the coast and my husband is on shift on actual Thanksgiving, so we decided to do family Thanksgiving yesterday.

Hence the leftovers.

Now, since I’ve just devoured/attempted to savor the finished product and I’m eager to get back to enjoying my book and glass of wine on the couch, I’ll get right to what I did to make my new favorite Thanksgiving meal.

I’ll spare you the details about how I was so bored with how I typically eat Thanksgiving leftovers and complete life story/trauma dump so prevalent in blogger recipes today and just give you the actual recipe. Sort of.

Here it is, as more of a general overview vs. super detailed recipe (I hate those, just let me cook):

On the bottom of your casserole dish spread out all of your leftover green bean casserole. Mine is a very simple mixture of drained green beans, this homemade cream of mushroom soup recipe, made gluten-free by using potato starch instead of flour, and cripsy fried onions, or whatever they’re called. Sometimes I get the gluten-free ones and sometimes I just deal. (Sorry, tummy.)

This year, I had just enough mushrooms to make a double batch of the casserole and then decided it wouldn’t be enough for the 20 people who would be here so I made another double batch after I remembered the frozen chanterelles that my husband and daughter foraged (I was determined to not go back to the store).

Turns out the initial batch would have been enough because most of those people were teens and thus averse to greens. Who raised these kids, anyway?

The result was a ton of leftover green bean casserole with both mushrooms. (My husband actually combined all of the leftover green bean casserole into one casserole dish and put it into the fridge like that so I didn’t even have to get out a new dish for dinner tonight. Huzzah.)

Okay, back to the “recipe.”

Once you’ve spread out the green bean casserole, top it with diced turkey. As much as you want. I did a thick layer, because protein.

Then top that with freshly shredded cheddar cheese. Again, I did a healthy layer, because cheese.

Next, you’ll grab your leftover mashed potatoes (we always have the fewest of those) and spread them out over the top of all that.

This is when I put it in the oven, covered with foil, at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes.

My initial plan was to top it with leftover gravy and another layer of shredded cheddar and bake it covered like that, but my brother and husband each decided to add their unsolicited two cents as to what I should do, which was to warm it up and then add the gravy and cheese and bake it uncovered, and I reluctantly agreed.

(My other brother stopped by to show us his hardboiled egg cooker that he couldn’t stop talking about yesterday at dinner and made us a dozen hardboiled eggs with it. It is actually pretty cool.)

So, after 40 minutes the internal temp was 135 degrees in the middle (if you don’t have a kitchen thermometer, what are you even doing with your life?), so I spread on a layer of leftover gravy (again, gluten-free thanks to potato starch instead of flour) and then topped that with a layer of shredded cheddar cheese.

I baked it uncovered for another 15 minutes, which was perfect. Twenty minutes would have given me a lightly browned cheese, but I was hungry and impatient.

The verdict? Absolutely delicious. And when Ian remembered that he’d wanted to put a little of the cranberry sauce I made on top? OMFG, stop. It was even better.

And that is now the only way I intend to eat Thanksgiving leftovers from now until forever.

You could, too.

So there you have it. A delicious, less boring, mostly gluten-free way to use up Thanksgiving leftovers that isn’t just throwing stuff on a plate and heating them in the microwave.

I’m going back to my book and wine now.

Ciao.

Thanksgiving Pie steps:

• 1st layer: green bean casserole.

• 2nd layer: diced turkey.

• 3rd layer: shredded cheddar cheese.

• 4th layer: mashed potatoes.

Bake covered for 40 minutes at 400 degrees then add the last two layers.

• 5th layer: gravy

• 6th layer: shredded cheddar cheese.

Bake uncovered for 15-20 more minutes.

I was sitting at the table the other day, thinking about food. As one does. But in this case, I wasn’t thinking about eating or actually eating, I was thinking about the gift of food.

The gift of cooking, of thoughtful preparation and presentation.

Because, really, it is a gift.

We could be scavengers, picking up whatever we find on the side of the road and bringing it home (or eating on site).

Or, we could just eat like my dogs, a jumble of raw meats, fruits and vegetables tossed in a bowl. Though, my Belgian Malinois has no complaints - he practically inhales it.

But we don’t. Which, to me, means that food was meant to be so much more than fuel for us.

We get texture and flavor and color - a feast for all our senses, not just our tastebuds. We get to combine and experiment. We get to gather and savor together. We get wine!

That is a gift.

And that is where I see the disconnect in our (American) culture, especially in the healthy eating sphere. We treat food as merely fuel, an inconvenience even. As if things would be so much easier if we just didn’t even have to bother with eating. (I know, I’ve said it myself.) Hence the popularity of meal replacement shakes.

Then there’s the confusion. Eat this to gain muscle. Don’t eat this to lose fat. Protein is good. Carbs are good. Carbs are bad. Fat is evil. Fat is the savior!

Restrict. Eliminate. Count calories. Eat for your macros. And try not to drown in shame when you inevitably fail in your restrictive diet plan and binge eat ice cream in the bathroom.

When did food get twisted from a beautiful gift into such a burden?

We got off track and the solution is a simple one.

We need to reconnect.

Reconnect with God, the source of this beautiful gift. The gift of sensual pleasure - taste, sight, smell - that is food. We could just be eating like vultures. Be grateful that we are not.

Reconnect with ourselves, our bodies. The temples that are the actual dwelling places of God. (Meditate on that for a while - it kinda rocked my world when I did.) How often do we treat ourselves like sacred temples? How often do we treat ourselves like dumpsters? I call it eating like a raccoon.

Reconnect with food. Real food. Not the processed garbage that’s filled with chemicals. I’m talking about food that you can grow, harvest, forage, hunt. Food my great-grandma would have recognized. Not an experiment that requires a chemistry degree to produce, that since its introduction has caused cases of chronic diseases and obesity to skyrocket. (That was not a coincidence, folks.)

Reconnect with where our food comes from. How is it grown? And not just where it’s grown, but how it’s prepared. What’s actually in it? This is why I’m such a huge proponent of home cooked food. Yes, it saves money, but more than that, I know exactly what I’ve put in it and it further connects me with my food.

Our grandparents and great-grandparents knew this. If you’re old enough, your parents knew this.

This disconnect is new. But it’s reversible. How?

Eat real food. Also known as buying single ingredients and turning it into meals. I write a lot about saving money on real food because I want people to see that it’s possible to eat healthy without spending a lot. We call it peasant maxing in my house, but the truth is the food we eat is high quality and artisan. It would cost a LOT to get in a restaurant.

Cook. If you don’t cook a lot or don’t know how, there are SO many resources available now. Start small - pick a new recipe or two to try this week. Something that doesn’t require a ton of ingredients but maybe just some new herbs and spices you’ve never tried before. French and Italian cooking is great for that - it seems hella fancy but really, they’re just creative with simple ingredients.

And if you don’t have time to cook, cook. Make time to cook. Those simple recipes take so little time, it’s laughable. I’ve been making the same Alfredo sauce since I was 16 and it takes me 10 minutes and I cook it while I boil the pasta and grill some chicken. Throw some quick-roasting veggies in the oven to roast when you start boiling the water, and boom, a delicious, home-cooked meal that will feed a big family in no time at all.

If you don’t know where to start, leave a comment. I’ll give you some suggestions.

Read labels. Ask questions. Get curious. You won’t know where food comes from or how it’s prepared until you ask and do some research. If you’re happy with the answer, great. If not, you know what you can start changing, bit by bit.

Eat slowly. Give thanks for your meal. When you sit down to eat, just eat. Or better, eat with loved ones and talk. Connect. Savor. Chew slowly. Notice the flavors and textures. Stop when you’re satisfied so you don’t get stuffed.

Make meal times sacred. I think one of the greatest reasons there’s such a disconnect is that we so rarely sit down to eat. We eat on the go or in the car or standing at the counter while we multitask and we now look at it as just another task on our long list of to-dos. This is a special, sacred act. You are a sacred temple. The table is your altar. Treat it like a church, not a drive-thru.

Reconnecting takes time and intentional action. It takes a shift in how you think about food. It requires slowing down, asking questions and getting rid of distractions. But the payoff is worth it. For you, for your family, for our planet.

It’s a journey, a delicious one, that begins with a single step - choose to reconnect with food and see it as the beautiful gift that it is.

Buon appetito!

Many years ago, when we decided that I would stay at home with the kids, I made it my mission to cut our budget as much as possible. One area that I spent a lot of focus on was reducing our food budget.

How could I spend less on food without eating beans and rice for dinner everyday? To be fair, though, the kids and I wouldn’t really mind. Anyway …

I’ve tried many things – coupons (they just don’t work for us because we avoid what I like to call “food products”), buying in bulk, menu planning – and figured out what worked for us and what didn’t.

I thought I’d share them with you in case you’re trying to trim the fat. (Pun so intended. You’re welcome).

Pantry Stocking

I began doing this after reading The Complete Tightwad Gazette. I took an inventory of everything in my pantry (and fridge and freezer) and put it on paper. If something got low, I replaced it.

It’s that simple.

This method is far cheaper than planning your meals based on different recipes you find that sound good and then going to the store to get all the ingredients.

Instead, any meals I plan are based around ingredients already in the pantry so that I don’t need to go buy new stuff, unless it’s something I think should become a regular item.

Which is why I added an Asian sauce section of the pantry a few years ago - we were making Asian-inspired meals all the time so now things like fish sauce and garlic chili sauce are a staple.

Bonus: they’re cheap AF at Grocery Outlet or Chefstore.

I always check grocery store flyers via phone apps and see if what I’m getting low on is on sale somewhere, but I usually know which stores have the cheapest items because I buy the same things over and over.

You can easily incorporate menu planning with this method. I think it makes it simpler. I’m always adding ideas to my menu planning board on Pinterest based on things we always have on hand. Highly recommend doing that.

Buying in Bulk

This initially began with shopping at Costco. Buying in bulk can save you a lot of money, BUT, you need to have a plan. I know many people who tell me they can’t spend less than a couple hundred dollars every time they go there because they buy stuff they don’t need.

If that’s the case, you need to go in with a list and stick to that list or stop shopping at Costco, especially when you’re hungry.

By having a plan when I go in there, I usually spend around $50-125 there once or twice a month, depending on which pantry staples we’ve run through. The savings more than offsets the cost of membership, which I know because I frequently compare prices of the things I buy at Costco with prices at other stores I shop at.

Bulk bins are another favorite of mine. I buy a lot of staples like salt, almond flour, organic oats, spices, nuts and popcorn from bulk food bins. They have a lower cost per ounce and I don’t have a bunch of packaging to deal with, especially when I reuse the bags.

Less Meat

Meat and dairy are the most expensive items on my grocery list. Do I only buy organic and grass-fed? No. It’s just not in my budget and, for me, getting enough protein in my family is really important.

As a nutrition coach, I aim to get everyone at least four ounces of meat protein (a little more for the guys) when I make dinner, but that still doesn’t amount to a whole lot of meat.

I love soups and casseroles. I’m also a big fan of burrito bowls because the beans and cheese add extra protein. The family is a big fan of shepherd’s pie (though I think it’s technically cobbler’s pie.)

Pro tip: Make double of anything you’re making and stick the other one in the freezer. My husband had the genius idea this week of making shepherd’s pie but with au gratin potatoes on top instead of mashed and it was SO GOOD. And since I always make double, I’ve got one in my freezer I get to enjoy again in a couple weeks. Bonus!

The meat I buy needs to go well in lots of dishes, so I mainly stick with whole chicken, chicken breast and ground beef. I’ll cycle in breakfast sausage or bacon on occasion for a special breakfast or brinner. And every once in a while I’ll get a pork butt or shoulder and cook it in the Instant Pot to be shredded, with half of it being turned into carnitas.

I only get steak or other types of beef if it’s a really good sale and if it is, I stock up.

Omitting Foods

I found that there were some foods that I kept buying because they were on my list but would just go bad because we didn’t really like them or because they went into one recipe that was used very infrequently.

I also realized that there were some ingredients that could be substituted with different ingredients that we were already eating on a regular basis.

This usually was the case with veggies, which are easily substituted for one another, taking me down to a small list of vegetables that we use regularly.

Making It Myself

It’s ridiculous how much money you can save on certain items if you learn how to make them yourself. Pancakes and waffles and biscuits from scratch taste so much better. As do soups and sauces. Same with bread and pizza.

(My oldest son bought a jar of Alfredo sauce a few years ago because he figured it couldn’t be that much different than the homemade stuff he grew up on. All the kids tasted it, made a face, and threw the rest away. Homemade makes a BIG difference.)

Buying and roasting a whole chicken and then making your own chicken stock will save you lots of money and provide you with several meals. Homemade yogurt is easy AF and is a great way to add more protein to breakfast.

At this point, I think the only thing I buy pre-made is pasta, but in a pinch I can make it myself, as can at least half my kids and my husband.

Really, learning to make stuff yourself and experiment in the kitchen is one of the best ways to save money and build confidence in your kitchen skills. I learned how to make almost everything by looking it up online or getting books from the library and while there were a few flops, most of the time it was success.

And each success just built my confidence and added another cheap meal to my repertoire.

Next time I’ll share a few shopping habits anyone can train themselves to do to save money. How have you lowered your grocery budget?

When my bestie and I went to Costa Rica in July, we ended the trip with a startling revelation: we needed to focus on launching our children well. No big business aspirations. No lofty goals. (We usually leave a retreat with both of those.) Just the deep knowledge that this time is precious and our efforts at home DO matter and make a lasting impact, even as kids gets older. Or, as I’m finding as of late, especially as kids get older. We also resolved to go through our old content and start re-sharing what we know, in addition to new things we have learned along the way.

Hence, this space dedicated to teaching valuable knowledge and skills - everything I wish I would have known and want my kids to know to be successful when it comes to food. That real, healthy, nourishing food doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, and that it can and should be delicious. And that it’s not just food that affects what we eat. Hence my motto, prayers and protein.

As I was combing through my archives this morning, I came upon this post that was published November 5, 2015. It was a look back at a No Spend Month Challenge we had just completed and the lessons I learned from it. Ten years later, I was reading it over and reflecting on those lessons - what stuck, what didn’t, and what has born unexpected fruit.

I’m republishing that post here, with my reflections 10 years later. Enjoy.

In late September, my husband and I decided to do something crazy - sign up for the 31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero Challenge from Living Well Spending Less. The purpose of the challenge was to spend as little as possible for 31 days. Seriously.

We still paid our bills. And there were some food items we decided on ahead of time that we’d replace when we ran out (namely butter, milk and green veggies). We also had a few pre-planned events before we started the challenge, so we budgeted for those.

But. That was it.

We did so for a few reasons:

• I’ve felt for a while that our spending has gotten out of control and we needed to reign it back in

• We’re saving money to take a family trip to Europe next summer (!!!)

• And it actually sounded kind of fun.

Yes, I’m weird like that.

So how did it go? It actually was fun. And challenging.

My husband and I saw just how much we got used to spending without even thinking about it. We had to get creative more than a few times instead of just running to the store or heading to a restaurant.

We also saw just how little we can actually spend in a month. Our food budget, for instance, will be dramatically reduced from now on because our favorite foods are so cheap - there was a lot of impulse buy stuff in our pantry at the beginning of the month. No wonder our food spending got out of control!

Overall, it was a good experience. Here’s what I learned:

My kids are more aware of our spending than I realized

We found this out right off the bat when we told our kids. Our son quickly asked if we’d still be paying bills. Surprised at the question, we told him we would. Turns out his concern wasn’t about losing our home or electricity.

“Oh good,” he replied. “I was afraid we’d lose Netflix.” Priorities.

Aside from that, the kids were pretty aware of the challenge. If they asked to do something that involved spending money, they quickly remembered and mentioned the challenge when we said we weren’t going to. Because we let them know ahead of time what our goals were, there was little grumbling.

10 years later: My kids are now 20, 18, 17, and 15, and all still live at home. Since becoming Benedictine oblate novitiates, my husband and I have begun looking at our home as our own monastery. So we’ve started talking to our kids about treating this more like a community where everyone buys in to its success and peace, vs. them just being kids dependent on their parents to do everything. They are currently taking a more active part in my peasant maxing efforts.

Bartering is wonderful

I’ve known this for quite some time, but was reminded during the challenge when I ran out of coffee. Scary, I know. But I mentioned it on Facebook and offered to barter my hippie goodies in exchange for some good coffee.

Many people expressed interest and offered up coffee beans and I ended up trading a good friend a few bars of homemade soap for coffee he’d just roasted himself. It’s delicious.

10 years later: I bartered just two days ago with my mom. She needed a frankincense essential oil roll-on, which I had, which was almost the same price as the food she’d added to her Azure Standard order for me.

Also, I normally wouldn’t have posted it on Facebook, but since we were doing a challenge I was able to get out of my own way. Otherwise, I think I would have had some weird sense of shame around it. I think I need to find or start a local bartering group on Facebook and invite friends to join because it is a really awesome way to save money while building a community of like-minded people.

We are creative, we just often lack necessity

A lot of people tell me they aren’t creative. I don’t think that’s true, though. From what I’ve seen, we just lack the necessity to be creative. When we have all we need at our finger tips and can run to the store or order online when we run out, there really is no need to be creative unless someone decides to go crazy on Pinterest.

But when it’s Halloween and you’ve once again forgotten all about it until the day of and you can’t run out and buy costume supplies, you figure it out. And when the whole family is brainstorming, it’s even easier!

We ended up with a firefighter, rock star, mummy and hipster.

10 years later: This is still one of my favorite pictures of all time of my children. That mummy now makes the most incredible costumes completely out of cardboard and starts months in advance. I told him just the other day that he would do awesome in costume design or could even start his own cosplay business.

Also, this is them now at my second child’s graduation in May. Why do they always look like they belong on an album cover?

Setting limits ahead of time is crucial

I still went to coffee shops. Gasp. But as someone who works from home, getting out every once in a while is crucial. And if I’m going to a coffee shop, it’s my opinion that I should support their business if I’m going to use their wi-fi. But I set the limit of once a week.

I’ve set some stricter spending limits for myself now because I saw how well they work when it comes to potential impulse buys.

10 years later: I was actually reminded of this last week when I was so antsy that I had to get out of the house, which I don’t do much of these days. But when I saw one of my favorite people at the coffee shop and had a nice chat with her, I remembered how crucial this was to my well-being (why do I forget certain things so quickly?) I think I will actually go back to the once a week outing and not even make myself do any work if I don’t want to, mainly for my own well-being. I did maintain those stricter spending limits, though.

Hospitality is possible on a super low budget

We had friends over a handful of times and they knew in advance about No Spend Month. They came anyway and graciously accepted our weird assortment of snacks and drinks. We even had a no spend gathering and everyone dug through their cupboards and brought what they had.

Near the end of the month, my best friend Dusti came to stay in our bus for five days. Instead of running around doing things that cost money, we finished our latest book on hospitality. We share our tips for entertaining with children, an introvert’s guide to hosting and doing hospitality on a low budget.

10 years later: we have since taken that book down, but I’ve got plans for my own in the works because hospitality is such a central part of my life mission. I also want to do another no-spend potluck gathering because we had such a great time.

I am SO blessed

I feel like I should know that by now, but this month showed me just how blessed I am. We were gifted all sorts of organic food at the beginning of the month. Family and friends found out about the challenge and offered to give us things we ran out of. Visitors saw it as an opportunity to spoil us with treats.

I am blessed beyond measure.

10 years later: still so true.

I want to carry on with these new old habits

The funny thing is, it was pretty easy to fall into the habits required by a no spend month because I used to practice them all the time. However, as money became more plentiful, I became complacent.

I’m going to stick with these habits, though, because I truly enjoyed the creativity, intentionality and thriftiness that came with spending zero.

10 years later spoiler: I did not. I know, I should have learned, but there was still a lot of mindset growth and emotional healing that needed to happen, a lot of which has been happening in the last 18 months. Like losing weight, until you address the underlying beliefs and patterns and heal those, you will just go back to them and gain it all back.

Reading this also just reiterates the lesson I’ve learned on staying vigilant - to seek God daily and practice discipline in other areas every day because it’s so easy to fall asleep again. I think this is why the Benedictine rule says to remember death daily - because we forget the simplest things so quickly.

But also. Falling into those habits again is still easy. And even fun now, especially because my kids are older and more involved so it feels more like a community effort.

Have you done a similar challenge? What did you learn?

You would think that as a nutrition coach, I would love meal planning. But nope. I hate it. Yet when I don’t do it I find myself in the vicious “I don’t know what to make for dinner, let’s just eat out” cycle that ends up costing a lot of money.

Or I end up scavenging through the pantry and eating like a raccoon.

Neither option is ideal.

My biggest menu-planning challenge? Being overwhelmed by all of the variety I felt I needed to have on the menu. Why was it so much easier to simplify other aspects of my life when planning what food to eat was still an overcomplicated process?

Wait a minute.

The Pareto Principle and how it applies to your food budget

The Pareto Pinciple is also known as the 80/20 rule. I remember it like this: I use 20 percent of my stuff 80 percent of the time, so I can get rid of lots of stuff! I realized that it applies to food as well.

I often use the same few foods over and over in different combinations.

Oh my gosh, it was an epiphany.

This wondrous revelation made grocery shopping easier and cheaper because I finally admitted to myself that I really won’t cook up that other stuff except on occasions when I have to dig up a special recipe for it.

I do, however, know that I will roast a whole chicken, mix up some meatballs or cook chicken breasts frequently. I don’t need a recipe and I’m able to combine these with any number of veggies and starches. And these meals are cheaper.

And it’s not even boring.

Too much choice = overwhelm

I thought that I needed to have different, exciting meals on the menu to keep it interesting. Like high school, where you couldn’t wear the same thing twice – no two meals should be on the same menu.

Well, let’s get real. If it’s not dirty, I’ll wear it until it gets dirty, and sometimes I’ll wear it then, too, because it’s my favorite.

But here’s what I tell my clients: you are a grown-ass woman and you don’t have to eat things just because you think you should.

Well, unless it’s protein. But anyway.

It’s ok to eat the same stuff. It’s ok to eat your favorite meals. There’s a reason why they’re favorites. Just mix it up a little.

Getting variety with little variety

How do you get variety if you don’t plan new, exciting meals all the time? Well, let’s take a look at a few different foods.

I decided to stick with three meats. Chicken – breasts and whole chickens for roasting. Beef – ground. Pork – loin for grilling or smoking or butt for roasting or throwing in the Instant Pot and shredding.

And I know how important veggies are for a well-balanced dinner, so you get a good mix in different colors, but we definitely aren’t representing the entire produce section here. Here’s what I stick to:

Carrots, green beans, broccoli, beets (I’m OBSESSED), zucchini, cauliflower and cucumber.

Next pick two starches – our house is mostly gluten-free so we do potatoes and rice.

Now, sit down with this list and start combining. There won’t be enough combinations to keep you from eating the same meal twice in a month (a good thing, I think) but there’s enough that you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the variety of nourishing foods you will eat.

(Remember: you can always plan special treats. Adding in some cheese-filled tortellini to a normal dish makes a nice addition for a special date-night meal).

Here’s an example of this type of menu-planning in action:

– Roast chicken with carrots and beets (do it all on the same sheet pan)

– Chili and cornbread

– Chicken, zucchini and rice

– Vietnamese chicken with coconut rice and steamed broccoli

– Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and sauteed green beans

– Cilantro lime chicken, coconut rice, zucchini

– Beans, rice, seasoned ground beef and cheese casserole with red enchilada sauce. My kids call this slop (and it’s SO good).

Notice the same players showing up in different combinations? This was actually from the menu I made for the last two weeks. And it took me much less time than it ever has before because I just had my small list of choices to combine.

Start with a solid foundation

How does this work if you’re not looking up different recipes? Cooking is an art. Like any art, it should be fun, expressive and enjoyable. You don’t have to stick to a recipe to make delicious food. If straying from recipes scares you, that’s ok. My husband doesn’t like to do it, either. 😉

Rather than knowing a bunch of different recipes, knowing the basics is the most important thing you can do. These simple ideas are a must-know for chefs and busy moms.

– Know how to make different sauces to take any meal from simple to extraordinary.

– Master soup for an easy, nourishing and inexpensive way to combine different foods that you eat regularly.

– Use herbs and spices to add flavor to your food. Every kitchen should have rosemary, shallots, garlic and lemon.

– Make your own stock and use it instead of water to make rice or cook veggies.

– Learn the different ways to cut vegetables to make them seem more special.

– Make simple meals look pretty by putting a little extra into presentation.

Sounds like a lot, I know. But it really is simple. We call it The Art of Peasant Maxing.

Use the few foods that you love and are inclined to eat over and over and come up with different combinations for them. Learn culinary basics to make simple meals extraordinary.

Simple. Fun. Frugal.

This was one of my most popular posts on food back when I was a natural living blogger. I’ve updated to reflect my current strategies, which, incidentally, really haven’t changed much in 20 years.

Today I’m answering one of the most common questions I get: how do I save money on healthy food?

I’ve been using this strategy for years, leaning heavily on principles I gleaned from The Complete Tightwad Gazette (best Mother’s Day gift ever…).

Even though many of the recipes/tips in that book are far from what I consider healthy (or can tolerate with my food allergies), I’ve still been able to apply a lot of what I’ve learned to feeding my family six (which now includes some very hungry teens).

But enough about me, let’s talk healthy grocery strategy!

Eat More Veggies

Eating more vegetables allows you to stretch meals containing meat, while providing you with essential vitamins and minerals.

Just imagine a plate divided into fourths. One fourth is meat or another protein, the other quarter is a starch of some kind, like rice, potatoes, a bread, etc., while the remaining half is filled with veggies. (Vegetarians and paleo eaters, feel free to weigh in with how you fill your plates!)

Veggies are delightfully inexpensive, compared to meat and, contrary to popular belief, not all need to be organic. Ours certainly aren’t. Check out the Dirty Dozen and Clean 15 lists for more info.

Eat Less Meat

We really don’t need that much meat to get adequate protein at our meals (and I know some would argue none at all). Imagine enough to fill the palm of your hand.

We do a lot of stir fries, soups, fajitas, and casseroles, eating our meat with lots of veggies. We also get plenty of protein from free-range eggs (that is, when our chickens are feeling generous), legumes and dairy.

Plus, whey protein powder comes in handy, especially, after workouts. After Costco rotisserie chickens, it’s one of the cheapest sources of protein - just don’t use it for all your meals.

Go Ethnic

So many other cultures do a fantabulous job of turning inexpensive ingredients into flavorful, nourishing dishes. We looooove Thai food and eat a lot of Mexican, either at home or my parents’ house.

(Did you know that growing up, I thought Spanish rice was just rice? I only saw white rice when we went out for Chinese food ;)).

Buy in Bulk

Buying in bulk is great for saving money. That is, if you’re buying something you know you’ll eat. We buy a lot of food in bulk, either from Costco or Chefstore: beans, rice, coconut oil, cheese, ground beef, etc. The larger the amount, the lower the cost per ounce, typically (make sure you check that!).

Avoid Processed Food

Like the plague. Even if they’re on sale with a double coupon, processed foods are still a bad deal. The sugar, preservatives, excess sodium, high fructose corn syrup and nutrient deficit will cost much more in the long run with increased healthcare costs.

Plus, when you compare the prices, home made alternatives cost much less. (And you know it tastes better).

Buy What You Will Use

It’s fun to buy fancy fruits and vegetables. Doing so just makes me feel healthier … until I find them, weeks later, fit for nothing but the chickens. When you try something new, buy it in small amounts first to test it out.

I’ve bought far too many things in bulk only to find that the family wouldn’t eat it (myself included). Bulk bins in stores like Winco are great for this – you can even just buy what you need for a single recipe.

Research Buying Clubs

A lot of natural health food stores offer these. Or, you can take advantage of Azure Standard if you also live in a small town with no health food store.

Sadly, we no longer have this option but it was great because the food is much cheaper and the store has a higher order volume, lowering their cost as well. The food is typically in bulk (we used to use it to buy coconut oil by the gallon) and there’s normally a minimum order, like $50.

Check Out Costco

Or Sam’s Club, or whatever is in your area. I save a lot of money buying a few things in bulk at Costco – organic carrots, pure maple syrup, Tillamook cheddar cheese, frozen berries, vanilla, vinegar, baking soda.

I do not enter Costco without a list and usually spend less than $100. To pay for the membership, I set aside $5 each month.

Compare Prices

I get some food at Trader Joes, some stuff at our local restaurant wholesale store (fish sauce, rice noodles, coconut milk), bulk bin stuff and other items at Winco, other items at Costco and a lot through our local Grocery Outlet. I’ve learned over time which store has the cheapest stuff and plan my list accordingly.

*Everything but Grocery Outlet is 45 minutes in Bend. Even factoring in gas, it saves a significant amount of money to go there.

Yes, it would save me time to just get everything at the same store, but it would cost a lot more money. Since I’ve been doing it so long, I can quickly get through each store with everything I need.

Using these strategies allows me to feed my family healthy, nourishing meals for as little as $475/month (still!). Finding ways to save money on most of our food allows me to splurge on certain items like bulk raw honey.

With some planning and intentional shopping, you can eat healthy on a budget.

How do you eat healthy on a budget?

Want more healthy shopping/eating tips? This is just scratching the surface of what I’ve learned over the last 20 years. Subscribe to get all the tips.

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Cakes.

Cookies.

Biscuits.

Macarons.

She’s gifted.

Not too long ago, she told me that she wanted to give sourdough bread a try. I gave her an enthusiastic yes and did an internal high five because I knew what that meant - lots and lots and lots of fresh sourdough bread for us to eat.

Naturally, she decided to grow her own starter instead of buying one, so she would have her very own little baby that she made completely from scratch.

She added flour and water, set the jar out, and fed it daily until, finally, it smelled just right.

And then she baked.

*Insert drool emoji*

As my kids and I were standing around the counter, eating fresh sourdough bread with butter, waiting for some soup to finish cooking, someone commented on how freaking delicious our meals were and that we were basically just living like peasants.

“Yeah,” my son said. “We’re totally peasant maxing!”

Oh, Gen Z, I do love some of the stuff you come up with.

We all laughed and started listing the things that we typically make from scratch and how easy it is and how much better it tastes. And I realized that over the years, the farther away I got from peasant maxing, the more unhappy I became because I felt so out of touch with what’s important.

Really, peasant maxing is just living mindfully within your means.

The less mindful I got, the more time I spent away from my home and family. I bought more things I didn’t need and spent more in general.

I remember one point, a few years ago, when our income was at its highest, and I felt very unhappy and thought, “You know, it was stressful when we were broke, but I like how intentional I had to be about everything. I MISS that.”

And then I continued on living and spending with my head planted firmly up my ass. Oh well.

I met a friend of mine for drinks the other night and told her about peasant maxing. We shared a good laugh and then I told her that I’m teaching a workshop soon on how to eat healthy without blowing up your budget because I keep hearing how expensive health food is.

“That’s crazy!” she said. “Health food is really cheap. It’s just ingredients.”

My sentiments exactly.

And then we went on to gush over how amazing potatoes are and planned a potato-themed get-together after she told me about this amazing (yet incredibly complex) potato recipe she found on the NY Times app. Next month, we’ll have a bean-themed party.

I can’t wait.

I’m grateful for friends who joyfully embrace peasant maxing with me.

Peasant maxing pays dividends.

It seems that many of the joyful and fulfilling aspects of my life were a direct result of peasant maxing.

(All of the big change in my life came after I decided I was going to do whatever I could to get out of debt so I could be home with my babies. Which meant being intentional AF.)

Especially lately, when we’re all sitting on the couch chatting in the evenings, I’m seeing the dividends of all the time and effort invested in also teaching the kids how to peasant max.

Things like how to cook and fix things instead of throwing them away and generally question the status quo.

Peasant maxing is really an empowering mindset.

Because really, you can find yourself in an undesirable situation and look around and think, “Man, this sucks. I can’t do anything to change it. I’ll just be miserable.”

(Although, anyone conscious enough to intentionally think that eventually realizes they have the power to change it.)

You don’t have to be broke, either. If you do it when you’re well off, you won’t ever get to the point of needing to peasant max.

Peasant maxing is looking around and deciding to intentionally make the best of life, no matter your circumstances.

Plus there’s good food. It’s a win-win.

Do you need help peasant maxing when it comes to food?

Once upon a time, I was really intimidated about making yogurt. There were so many directions and I am not good at following directions – I’m a free spirit, okay?.

But when I met my friend Jenna years ago, who made yogurt literally every day, I decided to give it a try. She assured me that it really is easy and if I messed up, I could just use it in baking.

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So I gave it a try and it actually worked! I made yogurt for my family for years.

Recently, I’ve begun making my own yogurt again for three reasons:

I’m tired of paying an average of $5.99 for one container of yogurt if it’s not on sale (I was getting Greek for the higher protein content, so if you need that, you can always strain it after - I’ll tell you how at the end.)

It is stupid easy.

My family and I have begun peasant maxing in an effort to eat really well while saving money. Homemade yogurt tastes really good and it’s another great way to get protein at breakfast, or you know, whenever.

How to make yogurt

Before you get started, you’ll want to gather your supplies and sterilize the tools you’ll be using to make the yogurt. You don’t want to introduce any other bacteria that might mess up your yogurt, however, I admit that I haven’t done this once since I started making yogurt again and it’s been fine. So do what you want.

For the process you’ll need:

• Stainless steel pot (you can use glass, too)

• Thermometer (it doesn’t have to be digital – just make sure you can read it well)

• Measuring cups

• Cooking spoon for stirring

• 2 quart-size canning jars with lids

• 1/2 gallon of milk (use the best you can afford - I use whole milk to get a better fat/carb/protein balance)

• 1/4 cup plain yogurt with live cultures

• Incubator - more on that below

First, you’ll want to sterilize your tools. Fill your pot with water (enough to cover the two jars lying on their sides), then bring it to a boil. Put in the spoon, jars (on their sides) and clip the thermometer to the side of the pot so the probe side is in the water. Let them sit in their for 5 minutes, drain the water and let the sterilized equipment sit on a clean towel to dry off.

Now, pour your milk into the pot and put in the stove on medium high heat and heat it up to 180 degrees. That’s just before it starts to boil and it gets the thin skin forming on top. I put my thermometer in periodically to check.

Once it gets there, turn off the heat and move your pot to a cool part of the stove or countertop (don’t forget a hot pad if you don’t have stone counters). It’s going to cool to 110-115 degrees (this takes about 15-20 minutes for me because of my cold counter tops and it used to take longer, so don’t feel like you have to sit and stare at the thermometer until it cools down).

Once it’s cooled, measure out 1/4 cup of plain yogurt with active cultures into one of your jars. I either use a little from a previously made batch or just a store bought yogurt with live cultures.

Add a spoonful or two of the cooled milk to the starter and mix them together. (It’s important to wait until it’s cooled so you don’t kill the bacteria.)

Next, pour the milk/starter mixture into the pot and stir it all together. Then pour the milk into the two quart jars and put on your lids. I like to use a canning funnel to do this so I don’t spill it everywhere.

Now you need it to incubate. It needs to do this for about 8 hours in a place that is warm, where it won’t get moved. You can do this a couple of ways:

Put the jars in a small cooler (I use one like this that I got at a yard sale), fill it with up to the bottoms of the lids with hot tap water, lock the lid in place and let it sit somewhere warm and dark for 8 hours. Apparently I used to wrap it in a bath towel for extra insulation but I forgot about that and haven’t been doing it since I started making yogurt again. My yogurt turns out just fine.

Use a yogurt incubator (like this one). I prefer multi-purpose kitchen appliances, but this is worth the investment if you’ll be making yogurt regularly and have enough space to store it.

I have also heard that you can use an Instant Pot to do it but I have not tried it in mine.

There are other ways to incubate yogurt that you can read about here.

Once it’s incubated and set up, store the yogurt in the fridge and enjoy!

How to make Greek yogurt

If you want to make Greek yogurt, you’ll just need some cheesecloth and a fine mesh strainer.

Strain your freshly made yogurt through a cheesecloth-lined fine-mesh sieve into a bowl for two hours (or up to overnight, depending on how thick you like it). You can use the whey (liquid) you drain for smoothies or to use in baking.

*Right after I posted this my friend Leah read it and let me know that making it in the Instant Pot is hella easy. And she showed me this reusable yogurt strainer that is super easy to clean. Thanks, friend!

**On my latest batch of yogurt, I got completely distracted with a DMV form when it was almost to temperature and then my milk boiled over. I decided to make it anyway and the result was a much thicker yogurt. I looked it up and apparently, I denatured the proteins, which makes yogurt thicker with a more mild taste. The right way to do that, apparently, is to hold is at 190 degrees for 10 minutes. Or just get really distracted and let it boil over.

Do you make your own yogurt?

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(Welcome to my homestead. Where the pony breaks into the garden and I have more cherry tomatoes than I know what to do with.)

As much as I love big ideas and inspiring people to feel moved about a cause, there is something I love even more: action.

I think it’s why my husband would so frequently give me the look - you know the one - “What the hell is she plotting now?” - whenever I would start talking about some crazy idea I’d been ruminating on.

Mostly because I will take something and actually run with it.

It’s why we lived in a school bus with four children ...

It’s why last weekend, when Ian asked if I was going to enter the oblate novitiate I said, “Of course. That’s why I’m here. It was decided when I signed up for this retreat.”

Back to action.

Today’s readings hit me hard. Even before I went to Mass, I read them on my phone, and sent the link to my husband saying, “Very good readings today.” It felt like a little spark, a nudge to examine my own life and see how I compared to the complacent ones mentioned.

I have not drunk wine from a bowl, but I’ve definitely sipped a margarita from one. And then there are those wine glasses that are as big as your face. Hmmm.

Then, in Father’s homily today, he brought up the Corporal Works of Mercy, taken from the Beatitudes, which I had never heard called that until today.

Naturally, there are seven, because biblical numerology (7 symbolizes perfection or completeness).

Those acts of mercy are:

• Feed the hungry: Provide food to those who are starving.

• Give drink to the thirsty: Offer water or other beverages to those who are dehydrated.

• Clothe the naked: Provide clothing to those who lack proper attire.

• Shelter the homeless: Offer a place to stay for those who have no home.

• Visit the sick: Spend time with and care for individuals who are ill.

• Visit the imprisoned: Offer companionship and support to people who are incarcerated.

• Bury the dead: Ensure that deceased individuals are given a proper burial.

That spark ignited a fire and I vowed to act on the push I’ve been feeling to get involved with the local food pantry. So I found a friend who volunteers there once Mass was over and asked about volunteer opportunities. (I get to go with him to pick up food in the truck tomorrow and then fly solo next week while he’s on vacation. Wait, what?)

Update: ‘Tis only a big van and I *think* someone will driving fore me next week. Maybe.

Later, as I was vacuuming and listening to an unrelated Word On Fire lesson on Catholicism, those same Corporal Works of Mercy came up again. This time, Bishop Barron mentioned Dorothy Day and the Catholic Workers Movement. So I felt the need to look them up and wouldn’t you know it, but they advocate many of the same things I do - family farms, homesteading projects, hospitality.

That fire blazed to life as I thought of all the pieces God has been putting into place in my life. Discussions with my husband and bestie and other friends about growing food, living in community, teaching people valuable skills and resurrecting the village.

It has all been for a reason, part of a greater vision.

(I informed my family that our house and property are now Black Rose Homestead a couple weeks ago. They may or may not be on board with it. Who knows - I’m running with it. We will feed people, dammit!)

And finally, as I was listening to Bishop Barron’s Sunday sermon on Love for the Poor, those same Corporal Works of Mercy were mentioned again.

This time, with a parting plea to act. To do something about it. To not just sit around and meditate on an idea, but to get out of your comfort zone and DO.

Be God’s hands and feet.

As comfortable as it is to just talk about the idea of helping the poor without taking action, we are called to do more than that.

We are called to do.

What then, can you do?

What then, will you do?

Food for thought.

Have you ever gone to a place you’ve never been and realized that it’s about to become somewhere very meaningful to you?

Italy was like that for me, especially Florence.

I remember walking around the city, feeling distinctly like I had been there before and that I had come home. That happened again, even more powerfully, when I stepped inside Convento San Francesco, a Tuscany monastery built in 1212 by St. Francis of Assisi and his followers.

The same was true for Mount Angel Abbey.

Not long after my husband moved back home, he sent me on a retreat. After months and months of dedicating most of my energy to spiritual growth and praying for the restoration of our marriage, I was EXHAUSTED.

As we were talking about where I should go, he brought up Mount Angel Abbey, a place that he’d actually heard about and mentioned years ago, but I’d never looked into. I checked out the website and agreed that it would be a great place to go so he booked me two nights there.

I was immediately struck by its beauty and was filled with gratitude as I took in the campus and its surroundings.

When I got to my room, I chuckled because of course I had been placed in the St. Francis of Assisi room. (I was told at check in that there had been a mistake and I was supposed to be in a different room.)

As I wandered around the grounds on the first day of my retreat, a question kept going through my mind, “What do I do with my days?” I had been feeling lost and not sure how to proceed in this new stage of life - how was the everyday mundane important to my purpose?

The next day, when I sat down in the coffee shop, the question was still on my mind when I pulled out my notebook. As I prayed about it, I distinctly heard five words:

1. Stillness

2. Connection

3. Purpose

4. Growth

5. Movement

Of course. If those were my daily aims, not only would I feel fulfilled in my days, but they would help me in living out my overall mission in life. They were also directly aligned with my top values.

Later, at dinner, I was talking to the woman beside me who told me she was an oblate. That caught everyone’s attention and someone at the table asked what an oblate is.

After explaining what it was she told us that she centers her days around five main things, as laid out in the Rule:

1. Opus Dei (The Work of God), also known as praying the Divine Office/Liturgy of the Hours

2. Work

3. Lectio Divina (Divine Reading)

4. Rest and Meals

5. Community Life

I shared with everyone what I had been praying about and the five words I had heard, and she said, “It sounds like you may need to be an oblate.”

Absolutely, yes.

When I got home, I sent an email requesting more information, and when I got it, I was immediately overwhelmed. It turns out that praying the Daily Office, also known as the Liturgy of the Hours, takes a long time. I tried it a few times and stopped. Same with Lectio Divina.

Frustrated, I set the idea of becoming an oblate aside. Perhaps I was just caught up in the energy of the place and it wasn’t really the direction I needed to go.

And then, in August, I was listening to a podcast with a man who was a Benedictine oblate, and I felt God say, “So … you ready to do that now?”

Taking that as a very clear nudge, I booked a spot for the September oblate retreat at Mount Angel Abbey as a commuter, as all the guesthouse rooms were booked, and asked to be put on a waitlist for a room in case of a cancellation. I then began incorporating the Divine Office and Lectio Divina into my days.

But little bits this time.

When I invited Ian to go to the retreat with me, he laughed it off. I immediately began praying that he’d have a change of heart. (Sorry, not sorry.)

Then, a week or so before the retreat I asked if he’d like to try to get the Sunday of that weekend off from work and stay at the AirBnB with me and just hunt while I was at the retreat. He said he’d try.

The retreat started on Friday and he got word on Wednesday that he’d gotten Sunday off.

Then, on Thursday at 2:25 pm, with 35 minutes left to cancel my AirBnb with a full refund, I got a voicemail saying there was a cancellation and would I like to stay at the Abbey guesthouse for the retreat?

I was both excited and bummed.

Excited at the answered prayer and perfect Divine timing. Bummed because I was looking forward to spending some time with Ian that weekend, even if it was just sleeping at the same place together.

When I told him about the room he said, “Well, I guess we’ll just have to spoon in a twin bed.” “No,” I said. “I’m pretty sure you’ll have to go to the retreat if you stay there. And I don’t know if they have a big enough room.”

“Well, I guess if they have a big enough room, it just means that I need to go on this retreat, too,” he replied.

So we became oblate novitiates on Sunday. Because of course there was a big enough room and he admitted that he’d been feeling like he was supposed to go, too.

That means that for the next year, we’ll be incorporating the Rule into our daily lives, and discerning if we really want to make the final oblation to the Abbey - a lifelong commitment.

What’s that going to look like exactly? I’m really not sure. But I’m going to write about it.

Welcome to the journey.

Right after we got divorced, Ian and I went to a line dancing lesson together. I know, I know, WTF. Anyway, we had a ton of fun and line dancing lessons became a source of joy for me during a really stressful time.

At some point, I decided that I needed a pair of cowboy boots. So I could really be legit.

Naturally, I started telling people and mentioned it during on of my CrossFit classes. A member piped up and asked if I’d heard of Tecovas. I had not. She told me that they were a really affordable brand and made some really cute boots.

I looked them up and discovered that they are super cute. And that she and I have very different definitions of affordable. So I thought to myself that maybe I would ask my brother to try to find me some used ones at a great price since he’s really good at that.

Which I promptly forgot to do.

A few weeks later, I was on a walk when my brother called me. When I answered, he said, “Hey, so I just got these cowboy boots on Marketplace and they don’t fit me but I’m pretty sure they’d fit you perfectly.”

I smiled and asked him what brand they were because I just knew.

“They’re a really great brand but I don’t know if you’ve heard of it - Tecovas. I’ll send you a picture. Want to come try them on and see if they fit if you like them?”

I hung up, thanking God for this sweet gift and example of His abundant, extravagant love.

They did fit, perfectly, and were 100% my style (I’m picky AF).

The story of how I got my wedding dress is similar.

I saw it shortly after our divorce behind the counter at my friends’ shop and loved the style. It reminded me of a dress I’d had once that I called my goddess dress because it looked very much like the ones always depicted on Greek goddesses.

I also always felt beautiful when I wore it and I was sad when I shrank out of it. As I admired it, God said, “that’s your wedding dress.” So I told my friends because I’m weird like that.

Then naturally forgot about it.

Turns out, they hadn’t.

Several months later, after Ian came home and proposed, I went to claim my dress. I tried to pay for it and they said that it was meant for me all along and to take it as a gift.

Like my cowboy boots, I gratefully accepted this as an extravagant gift from the Lover of My Soul.

We got re-married yesterday.

It was a tiny ceremony, with our children, and two of our dearest friends present.

I wore that dress and my Tecovas to remind me that I am loved and God ALWAYS fulfills his promises, no matter how impossible they seem.

When I started this Substack, I named it Redeeming Home in hopes that God would fulfill the promise He made to restore my marriage. Not only has He done that, but He’s brought our entire family closer together and made changes in all of us that I had dreamed of but thought impossible.

God is working, my friends. Always. We have only to listen and trust.

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Cakes.

Cookies.

Biscuits.

Macarons.

She’s gifted.

Not too long ago, she told me that she wanted to give sourdough bread a try. I gave her an enthusiastic yes and did an internal high five because I knew what that meant - lots and lots and lots of fresh sourdough bread for us to eat.

Naturally, she decided to grow her own starter instead of buying one, so she would have her very own little baby that she made completely from scratch.

She added flour and water, set the jar out, and fed it daily until, finally, it smelled just right.

And then she baked.

*Insert drool emoji*

As my kids and I were standing around the counter, eating fresh sourdough bread with butter, waiting for some soup to finish cooking, someone commented on how freaking delicious our meals were and that we were basically just living like peasants.

“Yeah,” my son said. “We’re totally peasant maxing!”

Oh, Gen Z, I do love some of the stuff you come up with.

We all laughed and started listing the things that we typically make from scratch and how easy it is and how much better it tastes. And I realized that over the years, the farther away I got from peasant maxing, the more unhappy I became because I felt so out of touch with what’s important.

Really, peasant maxing is just living mindfully within your means.

The less mindful I got, the more time I spent away from my home and family. I bought more things I didn’t need and spent more in general.

I remember one point, a few years ago, when our income was at its highest, and I felt very unhappy and thought, “You know, it was stressful when we were broke, but I like how intentional I had to be about everything. I MISS that.”

And then I continued on living and spending with my head planted firmly up my ass. Oh well.

I met a friend of mine for drinks the other night and told her about peasant maxing. We shared a good laugh and then I told her that I’m teaching a workshop soon on how to eat healthy without blowing up your budget because I keep hearing how expensive health food is.

“That’s crazy!” she said. “Health food is really cheap. It’s just ingredients.”

My sentiments exactly.

And then we went on to gush over how amazing potatoes are and planned a potato-themed get-together after she told me about this amazing (yet incredibly complex) potato recipe she found on the NY Times app. Next month, we’ll have a bean-themed party.

I can’t wait.

I’m grateful for friends who joyfully embrace peasant maxing with me.

Peasant maxing pays dividends.

It seems that many of the joyful and fulfilling aspects of my life were a direct result of peasant maxing.

(All of the big change in my life came after I decided I was going to do whatever I could to get out of debt so I could be home with my babies. Which meant being intentional AF.)

Especially lately, when we’re all sitting on the couch chatting in the evenings, I’m seeing the dividends of all the time and effort invested in also teaching the kids how to peasant max.

Things like how to cook and fix things instead of throwing them away and generally question the status quo.

Peasant maxing is really an empowering mindset.

Because really, you can find yourself in an undesirable situation and look around and think, “Man, this sucks. I can’t do anything to change it. I’ll just be miserable.”

(Although, anyone conscious enough to intentionally think that eventually realizes they have the power to change it.)

You don’t have to be broke, either. If you do it when you’re well off, you won’t ever get to the point of needing to peasant max.

Peasant maxing is looking around and deciding to intentionally make the best of life, no matter your circumstances.

Plus there’s good food. It’s a win-win.

Do you need help peasant maxing when it comes to food?

At the end of last year, shortly after listing my food truck for sale, I was offered a really great opportunity to park it at a nearby resort for the summer.

The guaranteed daily traffic and high profit margins meant that it would be a very profitable few months. I could make enough to pay off debt and take my family to Costa Rica in the winter.

When I first heard about it, I thought it was an obvious yes. That maybe I was making the wrong decision in wanting to leave food service in favor of something location-independent.

But my gut told me I needed to stop and think about it. That should have been my first clue.

I’ve learned to take an, “If it’s not a fuck yes, then it’s a fuck no,” approach to decision making, knowing that I have said yes to things plenty of times in the past when I was hesitant and ended up regretting not listening to my gut.

However, I’ve also learned that sometimes it’s not a yes YET, because of timing. So I decided to gather more information and mull over the reasons I had for not saying yes.

Get your house in order

When I got divorced, in addition to hearing that it was time to go back to Mass, I also heard, “Get your house in order.”

To which I replied, “What the hell does that even mean?”

But over time, I came to see that not only did I need to get my own spiritual house in order, but I needed to turn my attention back to my children who had gotten so little of my attention the farther I wandered from God.

As I focused more of my attention back on my family, it came with a very strong sense to be home more to intentionally create a safe haven for my family. A place that would draw them out of their rooms so we could connect more.

I also felt like I needed to work from home again. After eight years as a CrossFit and nutrition coach at a local gym, I was tired of leaving multiple times a day, usually during peak connection times with my kids, and it felt like it was time for that chapter to end so I could be home more.

This was what was running through my mind when I thought about that opportunity and when I finally made my decision, it was with the firm conviction that I was making the right one.

I told them no.

The decision was immediately apparent when I realized that the things that were giving me pause were doing so because they were not in alignment with my values.

Spending 12+ hours a day away from home for several months was definitely not in alignment with my value of connection. Specifically, fostering connection in my home. And it was definitely not in alignment with my value of freedom.

Once I made that connection, it wasn’t just a no, it was a fuck no.

Values are guidelines

I redefined my top values at the beginning of 2024 and wrote them on the whiteboard in my bedroom that I look at every day.

Which now that I think about it, was not a coincidence. I think it was their prominence in my daily life that finally made me make the connection between knowing my values and making important decisions.

After this specific decision, it’s made me so much more aware of this and has made making decisions even easier because I can just quickly ask myself, “Is this in alignment with my values?”

Now, to clarify, I’m talking about my top personal values. When I redefined them last year, the coach leading the program recommended picking three.

She outlined why having three top personal values is important - they are customized to you and help you create a life you love. If you have too many “top” values, they can no longer be considered top values.

Values are the guidelines that keep you on your unique path to a life of meaning and purpose.

If you have too many, it’s easy to get off track.

Then she offered some questions to ponder and a list of possible values to choose from, with the instruction to circle the ones that resonated.

After doing that, you scratched off the ones that didn’t stand out as your most important and grouped together any that had a similar theme and see if they could all fall under one word.

Looking at the workbook now, I see that had I continued working through it after I identified my top values, I would have seen that she clearly mentions how they help you make decisions. Oops.

In the end, I landed on five core values.

• Joy

• Connection

• Essentialism

• Freedom

• Discipline

I know she said three, but I couldn't see any way around the five, no matter how I grouped them.

Redefining again

In light of the last year - what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown - I decided it was worth revisiting my values.

When I last defined them, it was with the aim of creating a happy life … that basically glorified me. That’s just not who I am anymore.

Now, my aim is Christ-consciousness - what I call the combination of God- and self-awareness I mentioned here.

My values then, are what will help guide me to stay in alignment with God and being my most authentic self.

They are so very simple:

• Joy

• Connection

• Purpose

And I got it down to three, ha!

I can run every decision by those three values, knowing that if it’s in alignment (and feels like a yes), then it will keep me on the path of Christ-consciousness.

Along with instructions on how to pinpoint your values, the program also gave the challenge to identify the places in your life where you are living in alignment with your values and the places you are not. (I love a good audit.)

So I intend to take this new list and have a look over what I’m doing now and see what’s going well and what needs to change.

Growth is good!

Going deeper

Have you identified your top core values? I invite you to do so if you haven’t. Or, if you have, revisit them to make sure they still ring true.

Next, do a little audit to see if you’re living in alignment. Celebrate those places that you are. And if you find areas you aren’t, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, meditate on what changes you need to make and what healing needs to happen to move into alignment.

Some things will be quick and easy, others will take time. It’s a process.

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It’s me. I’m that girl.

I was a chaperone on a field trip for my daughter once when she was in the 4th grade. Sitting behind us were two boys playing around, and just by looking at them, I knew that one was a Libra and one was a Leo (their hair was a dead giveaway).

I asked them their birthdays and then gave myself an imaginary high five because I was right.

I’ve gotten a lot of shit for my love of the zodiac. Especially because I can tie it into ANY conversation and the unbelievers don’t like that ...

But when I dove headfirst into my relationship with God and started going to Mass on the regular, I questioned if it was actually okay.

Whenever I come to God with a question like this, the first thing I usually hear is, “What do you know to be true?”

In this case, I knew that the more I learned about the zodiac, the more drawn I was to the insights it gave me about myself and why I acted the way I did. It helped me love, appreciate, and understand myself more.

The same was true when it came to other people. I didn’t give a shit about “predicting the future,” nor did I want to use it as a way to excuse “bad” behavior as just who I was because of something in my chart.

I also knew that all the parts of someone’s chart can add up to what is essentially a creepily accurate and insightful personal owner’s manual.

Then I heard, “Where is your heart?”

My immediate response was, “To know and love people better.”

Because doesn’t it feel good to be known? To be truly seen for who you are?

To me, knowing myself inside and out and loving what I know, and in turn doing the same with other people because I really see them, is taking what Jesus said about loving others and putting it into action. With lots of compassion thrown in.

When I know that there are certain parts of my chart that seem to be at odds with each other, I can have compassion for myself when I run into frustration.

It also helps me to be a more creative problem solver because I don’t see it as an excuse to stay fixed there. I see it as a way to help me grow within certain parameters and become a better version of myself. This is the same reason why I love the Enneagram and Human Design and personality tests.

It’s why I firmly believe that God puts such meticulous care into making each of us and perfectly equips us with exactly what we need to fulfill our missions here on earth.

The challenge is to grow into maturity by overcoming the struggles we face.

Struggles are opportunities for us to shed who we are not and become what we came here to be.

The better I know myself, the easier it is for me to look at a struggle and ask, “What do I need to learn here? If I persist in faith, what false belief might I shed that will bring me closer to my true self? And, in turn, closer to God and the oneness that Jesus talked about?”

Because that’s really what we’re doing here.

We start off as ourselves and then pick up all these wounds and false beliefs and find ourselves in a place of misery and confusion. (Jesus didn’t have that. He always knew EXACTLY who he was and that there was no separation between him and the Father.)

Thankfully, though, we can wake up and see that all of these wounds can be healed so we can go back to being who we truly are and remember why we’re here in the first place. We can experience that same oneness with God because there is really nothing separating us.

Isn’t that fucking exciting?!

But how?

I believe it begins with a deep desire to really know yourself.

Being willing to look at yourself and get curious about why you do and believe the things you do.

Setting aside the distractions and sitting with the stillness, even though it’s uncomfortable.

Daring to look at yourself as a wonderful creation and not a problem to be fixed.

(And asking God to help you do all of that since He’s said He will give us wisdom in abundance if we just ask and believe that He will.)

All of this so you can ask for healing where it’s needed so you can show up 100% as yourself without any shame or fear.

We need you.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but what you focus on grows. So if you focus your attention on things you hate or don’t want, you’re just going to get more of it. But. If you focus on the things you’re grateful for and what you want more of, you will naturally begin experiencing more of that in your life as your beautiful brain works to bring more of that to your attention.

That said, I’ve decided to make Sunday a day where I celebrate the joys in my life from the previous week, both big and small. Sometimes I’ll share it here.

What was good this week:

My husband officially moved back home! This is huge and I will be writing more about this later, but when God told me He would restore our marriage and make it better than I ever dreamed possible, He wasn’t freaking kidding.

He also asked me to marry him. Again.

We got another dog. Our sweet dog, Whiskey, died the day before our divorce eight months ago. We unintentionally got Lazarus, an eight-month-old rescued Belgian Malinois, on Whiskey’s birthday.

I got to go on a lovely walk with my eldest son.

I hosted a potluck style birthday party for a dear friend.

I hit my weekly goal of 50 strict pull-ups and 100 push-ups. It’s been a while. And no, that’s not all in one go.

I started a yoga practice. Two days in and my body seems pleased.

I’ve accepted that I am in a season of rest and recovery. If you know me, you know I always cringe when someone says they’re in a “season” of anything, but it is what it is. The last eight months have been emotionally challenging, to say the least. I’ve prayed harder than I’ve ever prayed in my life. It’s been a huge exercise in trusting God, especially financially, and I’m SPENT. I have zero energy for intense workouts and even my daily walk feels like a lot sometimes. If you know me, you also know that rest is the only four-letter word that I actually find offensive, so me leaning into this is huge. It helps that the once quiet aches and pains in my body have gotten very loud, which is really what made me throw up my white flag and accept that I need to give myself some TLC.

I went to a writing workshop that my friend organized. Maybe next time we’ll actually do some writing, Harrison!

I created a simple cleaning schedule for the house. Now that I’m no longer coaching CrossFit and am home all the time, I’m taking great joy in getting my actual house back in order. It helps that my kids are old enough to delegate more tasks to. Fun fact: if you make them start doing it when they’re small, they will actually thank you if you ever do a load of laundry for them or clean their bathroom.

I’ve made most of the meals for my family this week and it’s delightful to see how much it makes my oldest daughter feel loved.

We had an at-home date night that cost nothing.

I’m excited about living frugally again. Not only will it help us get out of debt, AGAIN, but I love the creativity required.

I’m sure there’s more, but I can’t think of it right now and Lazarus needs to go outside to do his business. Again.

What was good for you this week?